there is such a thing as manners, a way of treating people. These fish have manners.

QUICK TIPS: IF YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT LEAVING A CHURCH ...

Before You Decide to Leave

1. Pray.
2. Let your current pastor know about your thinking before you move to another church or make your decision to relocate to another city. Ask for his counsel.
3. Weigh your motives. Is your desire to leave because of sinful, personal conflict or disappointment? If it's because of doctrinal reasons, are these doctrinal issues significant?
4. Do everything within your power to reconcile any broken relationships.
5. Be sure to consider all the "evidences of grace" you've seen in the church's life--places where God's work is evident. If you cannot see any evidences of God's grace, you might want to examine your own heart once more (Matt. 7:3-5).
6. Be humble. Recognize you don't have all the facts and assess people and circumstances charitably (give them the benefit of the doubt).

If You Go

1. Don't divide the body.
2. Take the utmost care not to sow discontent even among your closest friends. Remember, you don't want anything to hinder their growth in grace in this church. Deny any desire to gossip (sometimes referred to as "venting" or "saying how you feel").
3. Pray for and bless the congregation and its leadership. Look for ways of doing this practically.
4. If there has been hurt, then forgive--even as you have been forgiven.

-Mark Dever, What Is a Healthy Church? (p. 57)

I think I might add the necessity of an "exit interview" in the event of departure to share how the church might improve in the areas you found lacking.

Prior to leaving, I think it's helpful for all involved to express concerns along the way, as opposed to sharing a laundry list of things that have been bugging you for months or years. It may be possible the leadership doesn't know and they can't fix it if they don't know it's broken. Also, after sharing those concerns, offer to be of help in fixing them, being part of the solution.

Any other thoughts?